It’s my Twitter birthday

Four years and 12.8 thousand tweets ago, I joined Twitter. I already wrote a professional love letter to my dearest social media platform, so now it’s time for the unprofessional-ish one.

In short, Twitter is the bomb diggity.

It’s everything wonderful about life all rolled into one. You can stalk anyone you’d like without necessitating a restraining order. You can get instant news updates. You can hear stories from your favorite writers. You can get advice from just about anyone. And it’s all done in (usually) sunshiney 140 characters.

In real life, I’m not really the kind of person to talk to just anyone. I’m an observer. That’s why I first loved Twitter: I could observe anyone I wanted and it wouldn’t be weird or creepy. After a while, I stopped being afraid and started jumping into the conversation. I’m not too embarrassed or anxiety-ridden to tweet at a semi-famous person, and sometimes I even get a favorite or a tweet back. (I mean, I usually bounce around and giggle and screen shot the response, but that’s beside the point.)

Twitter’s even taught me to be a teensy bit more witty and interesting and concise. Having only 140 characters means you’ve got some serious word-crafting to do. It’s not really uncommon for me to give myself a pat on the back for a particularly snappy tweet.

And here’s the best part: Thanks to the recent Twitter archive release, I’ve been able to stalk my 17-year-old self, and I’d like to share some of those nuggets of wisdom with you.

Before we get to that, though, I’d like to point out that it took me three moronic months to figure out that Twitter was not Facebook (Well, the old Facebook, where every status already had the “Ashley Holstrom is” part built-in) and therefore tweets should be in complete sentences, not “is in a good mood today!” And yes, that was one — actually, multiple — of my tweets.

Screen Shot 2013-01-22 at 2.38.56 PM My very first tweet. This is HISTORY, guys.

Screen Shot 2013-01-22 at 2.39.18 PM A classic paradox.

Screen Shot 2013-01-22 at 2.43.39 PM Hey, we’ve all had our fair share of food tweets.

Screen Shot 2013-01-22 at 3.00.51 PM Passive aggression has always been my strong suit. Ahem.

And these are only in the first few months of tweeting. I don’t hate myself enough to go back and continue reading any further to see just how annoying I could be. At least I only tweeted a few times a month back then, as opposed to the dozen times a day as I do now. 

One really cool thing about the archive, though, is getting to relive moments. I live-tweeted my trip down to Eastern on move-in day my freshman year. I tweeted about being excited about seeing Old Main over the hill — which still gives me the same giddy-in-the-tummy feeling as a senior — and being unable to do anything but look out the window and think for the three-hour drive.

When school started up, I tweeted a lot because I didn’t have anyone to text. So I texted Twitter. After a while, Twitter started texting back. We’ve been in a pretty serious relationship since then.

It only makes sense, then, that when I go on dates and the boy in question asks what I like to do in my free time, “I like to tweet” is one of the first things to come out of my mouth. (I know, guys. I’m really, unbearably cool.)

I’d say it’s been a good four years.

What’s your favorite thing about Twitter? What was your first tweet? Have you stalked your past self with the archive?

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